#71: Coming Out

Download: The MP3 File (Length: 40m -- 29 MB)

Ben Mandelker [Twitter] is a writer and a podcaster who hosts both The Banter Blender and Watch What Crappens. He also writes for the B-Side Blog.  And, a few years ago, at the age of thirty, he came out of the closet.

In this class we talk about:

  • Being okay with his sexuality in his small town growing up.
  • Having crushes on girls in high school.
  • Watching TV talk shows to see male strippers.
  • How his college was very conservative.
  • How coming out wasn't a high priority.
  • Avoiding certain behaviors as to not be found out.
  • Having a girlfriend in high school for two weeks.
  • Living a mind fuck 24 hours a day while in the closet.
  • How the gay culture has evolved.
  • How some of his frat brothers came out after college.
  • Coming out when he was 30.
  • Suppressing his peak hormonal years.
  • How his writing was affected because he hadn't come out.
  • Living in the gay mecca: West Hollywood.
  • His first physical experience.
  • Coming out to his best friends.
  • Getting love and support.

Related Link: Coming Out with Dave Holmes

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#70: Religion and The World

Download: The MP3 File (Length: 47 m -- 34 MB)

Jeff Whitby is a former US Army Green Beret who has experienced a lot of religion and the world.  Thanks to his life experience growing up in a small religion in the state of Washington and traveling the globe with Special Forces, he's certainly a life expert.

In this class we talk about:

  • Going from shooting a gun to shooting a camera.
  • Having especially religious parents.
  • Seeing real life effects of not having religion.
  • Meeting different groups of people through religion and the Army.
  • Sexual scandals within his church.
  • Seeing the business side of the church.
  • Having parents that practiced the spirituality they preached.
  • Being shunned by his church.
  • Majoring in Pastoral Theology in college.
  • Handling independence for the first time at 18.
  • Being drawn to the laid back group in college.
  • Discovering music at the age of 24.
  • Leaving school early, after three years.
  • Joining the Army at 24.
  • Traveling to Afghanistan.
  • Training Ukrainian and Russian special forces.
  • Seeing religions that take total control of people.
  • Seeing how poorly women are treated in the Middle East.
  • Living a simple life.

 

Related Link: Losing Friends with Robert Patrick Lewis

Related Link: Coming Home From War with Robert Patrick Lewis

 

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Class #69: Married with Jason Nash

Download: The MP3 File (Length: 54m -- 39 MB)

Jason Nash [Twitter] is an actor, comedian, director, writer, and former podcast host.  He's also just released his first feature film, Jason Nash Is Married.  So, today we're talking marriage.

In this class we talk about:

  • Going back and forth about liking marriage.
  • Having TV star, Busy Phillips, play his wife in his movie.
  • A boring adult dinner party.
  • Knowing he's the jerk of the group.
  • Looking like and idiot in front of 20 year olds.
  • Having two kids.
  • Being recently diagnosed as Bi-Polar. 
  • Being suicidal.
  • Getting on medication.
  • Needing adventure in his life.
  • Being the odd one out of his group of friends.
  • Keeping his kids happy.
  • Being married for ten years and counting.
  • Being lost and self hating.
  • Losing his confidence in Los Angeles.
  • Constantly doubting himself.
  • Having time off while his wife works.
  • Finding a stay at home dad role.
  • Shooting a hot tub sex scene.
  • Married sex with his wife.
  • Taking things personally.
  • Liking to be alone.
  • Not being good under pressure.
  • Having an urge to not be in the family.
  • Having to be around his wife's friends.

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Extra Credit #17: Being A Parent Is Scary

Download: The MP3 File (Length: 16m -- 12 MB)

Steve Belanger [Twitter] got that call no parent ever wants.  It was his son's school and they said that Steve's three year-old had a seizure.  Last time, on Man School, Steve talked about quitting his job to follow his dreams.

In this Extra Credit we talk about:

  • Being a father of two boys.
  • Getting the worst phone call for a parent and the initial shock.
  • Not calling his wife right away.
  • Having to worry about his oldest son as well.
  • Seeing all the school staff crying and having to wait for the EMT.
  • The entire event happening in fast motion.
  • Finally calling his wife.
  • His son having a febrile seizure.
  • Thinking about what could have happened and bawling like a little girl.
  • Crying in a lottery store.
  • His son now being the picture of health.

Class #68: Divorced Twice with James Ellroy

Download: The MP3 File (Length: 36m -- 26 MB)

James Ellroy is one of America's finest novelists.  Some of his 19 books include: LA Conflidential, White Jazz, American Tabloid, Shakedown, and the Black Dahlia.  His latest novel, Perfidia, comes out in September and is available for pre-order now.  James is a man whose live has full of love and passion -- as discussed on Man School #55 -- but he's also been Twice Divorced.

In this class we talk about:

  • How his second ex-wife is still his best friend and how they are closer now.
  • Going out for dinner after deciding him and his second ex-wife would get divorced.
  • Having relief because he was telling the truth.
  • How divorce is like the sick old family member that dies.
  • Coming back to LA after women divorce him.
  • Knowing that he would be friends with his ex wife.
  • How adultery had nothing to do with his marriage ending.
  • How alimony is a challenge.
  • How the telephone kept the friendship with Helen alive.
  • Keeping in touch with his first ex wife only through the shared dog.
  • Having a hilarious shared custody of a dog.
  • The importance of amicability. 
  • Not owning a television.
  • How, for James, monogamy is the new marriage.
  • His parents divorcing in 1955.
  • Feeling like a freak in general.
  • Having his parents poison his mind against each other.
  • Having models of behavior.
  • Being determined to be happy and successful.
  • Being a bad roommate but a good husband.
  • Being grateful to his first wife for the experience of marriage.
  • Being 66 and just out of his teens.

 

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Class #67: What I've Learned

Download: The MP3 File (Length: 44m -- 32 MB)

Robert Greene [Twitter] is a multiple time New York Times Best Selling Author.  He's best known for his books The 48 Laws of Powers, Mastery, The Art of Seduction, and The 50th Law.  In addition to writing about these various principles, he's also applied them to his own life.

In this class we talk about:

  • Dealing with the publishing world.
  • Terrible marketing campaigns.
  • Writing with a partner.
  • Having his book popular with world leaders, hip hop stars, and in prison.
  • Being contacted by people from all walks of life.
  • Helping an actress with her craft.
  • Siding and working with the underdogs.
  • Helping an NBA player with dealing with their management.
  • Learning about the sharks in the music industry.
  • His new book "The Laws of Human Nature."
  • How humans are charged by emotions.
  • Being a freelancer and being needed.
  • How to keep his publishers dependent on him.
  • Living in Paris fresh out of college and seeing models everyday.
  • Becoming friends with a guy who was awesome at seduction.
  • Being too nice to girls.
  • Seduction being about more than just sex.
  • Meeting 50 Cent -- being intimidated by him & intimidating 50 Cent.
  • The ultimate forms of power.
  • Nearly having a book cancelled.
  • Living what he was writing about.
  • How he would write a book with Bill Clinton.

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Class #65: Losing Friends

Download: The MP3 File (Length: 50m -- 35 MB)

Robert Patrick Lewis [Twitter] is a former US Army Green Beret.  Now a civilian, this ex-Special Forces member has lost many friends in both combat and by suicide. 

In this class we talk about:

  • Never having an exit strategy in life.
  • Getting out of your comfort zone.
  • Being from a military family.
  • Knowing that loss and sacrifice would happen.
  • The Hollywood perspective of what war is like.
  • Being in a post-9/11 military.
  • Being “all testosterone and gunpowder.”
  • Not taking orders well.
  • Having a very romanticized version of Special Forces.
  • Not thinking about losing friends until he actually lost them.
  • Not thinking about the possibility of losing his own life.
  • Adapting to change.
  • Being told the reality of loss.
  • Learning the mission is more important than the men.
  • Keeping in touch via social media.
  • Reality of violence in combat zones.
  • Trying to find humor in all situations.
  • The list of lost friends growing each Memorial Day.
  • Losing his first friend in Baghdad by explosives.
  • Having to wait until after families are notified.
  • Not dealing with memories until he is ready and able to.
  • The constant change of leadership.
  • How combat is pure chaos.
  • Realizing his own mortality and that he has been given a lease on life.
  • Making his life worth while.
  • Losing at least a dozen of his friends.
  • Having friends who committed suicide.

Related Link: Robert Patrick Lewis on Class #24